Why arent you opening the door?
I dont want to, and I wont. Guests should give a headsup before they show up, and they definitely shouldnt be rummaging through the cupboards, the fridge and the wardrobes.
You mean you wont? Shes my mother! Shes come to see me!
Fine, welcome her just not into my flat.
At least Ellie gets along with my mum.
You know, if I start listing every way my ex was better than you, well both feel embarrassed.
Im not sure about myself, Emily says, twisting the kitchen table with nervous fingers. If you both got on so well with Ellie, why did you break up with her?
Victor turns away, his face darkening as he looks out the window.
You know the whole story
I know. Then dont start telling me about your Ellie, Emily snaps. Otherwise Ill become your next ex.
Emily is already ready to take drastic measures.
She met Victor about a year ago at a mutual friends gathering. She knew Ellie too, though they werent close. Ellie had brought Victor along, and a few months later she vanished from everyones radar.
One night, a drunken Victor bragged that hed split from Ellie after catching her cheating, even shedding a tear.
Emily found that oddly sweet: a man unafraid to show his feelings, a man who values love. Something clicked, and she felt the urge to comfort him.
She realised that what she felt was more a maternal instinct than any romantic interest, but it was enough to spark a relationship.
Things start off beautifully. He picks her up after work, drives her home, sends sweet texts every day, and asks whether shes kept warm. Emily feels surrounded by care.
She first worries when she gets a message from Ellie herself.
Hi, Emily. I heard youre dating Victor. Its not my business, but treat him gently. He and his mum are a tightknit duo.
Emily makes a note of it but shrugs it off as a minor thing. Love can handle a few bumps. After all, if Victor had a rough patch with one woman, it doesnt mean it will happen with the next.
Hey, I think well sort it out ourselves. Thanks for the warning, Emily replies.
She doesnt want to keep the conversation going; it feels awkward toward Victor.
Victor, however, doesnt seem to care about her comfort at all.
When his mother, Margaret, first drops by unannounced, Emily stays surprisingly calm.
Perhaps neither of them fully grasp how uncomfortable that is. Margaret probably worries about her son and wants to see who he lives with.
Emily tells Victor to greet his mum, throws on a hastily tied ponytail, pulls on the first thing she finds, and, halfasleep with dark circles under her eyes, heads out to meet the prospective motherinlaw. She finds herself already sifting through the livingroom cupboards.
Ah, everythings a mess, Margaret says with a patronising smile. Youll end up with mismatched socks. Now, lets have breakfast and Ill show you how to fold laundry so nothing gets tangled or lost.
Instead of a simple hello, Margarets intrusion feels invasive. Saying Emily is flustered would understate it; a stranger rummaging through her personal space in her own home feels downright rude.
Yet answering rudeness with rudeness at the start of a relationship feels wrong, so Emily holds her tongue.
Oh dear, you look like you havent slept at all! Margaret coos. You need cucumber masks. Or better yet, a kidney checkup. I have a friend
Emily forces a smile, nods, and pretends to be genuinely interested in strangers ailments. Inside, she just wants to crawl back into bed; its only eight in the morning on a Saturday. She stayed up late the night before, hoping to catch up on sleep.
She daydreams.
Margarets visit drags on until evening. Emily receives a torrent of criticism and helpful advice on watering plants, cleaning the bathroom and polishing cutlery. She even manages a little practice. She feels squeezed like a lemon. Throughout all this, Victor never offers to help or even hint to his mother that theyd like some privacy.
Do you always have a mother this active? Emily asks cautiously before bedtime.
She isnt opposed to a big family, but she does crave some distance.
Yeah, what can I say? She just wants a friend, Victor shrugs. We used to live with Ellie; it was cosy. Now shes bored on her own.
I hope we dont end up three under one roof, Emily sighs.
Whats the problem? Youre against my mum? Victor snaps. She was friends with Ellie; things were fine.
Emily stays silent. Ellie is eight years younger than her and has a habit of cozying up to people. Of course they were friends.
Margaret probably knows all her friends by name, diagnosis, can iron sheets perfectly and bake pies by her motherinlaws recipe.
But Emily isnt signing up for that kind of happiness. Shes learned that the less others meddle in a couples affairs, the better. Victor, however, has a different view.
My mum is very sociable. She can strike up a conversation with anyone.
Sure, but not everyone will be thrilled about it, Emily wants to say, but holds back.
Things get worse. Margaret returns the next morning, this time launching a fridge inspection.
Freerange eggs? I only gave Victor quail eggs; theyre healthier for men, she declares with a selfimportant air. Your shelves arent very clean youll be eating that later. Emily, could you wipe them down?
I dont eat straight from the shelves, Emily thinks.
Then clean them, Margaret, she promises. We wanted to relax today. Its the weekend, after all
Victor, by the way, spends the day sleeping soundly while Emily is forced to entertain his mother.
Exactly! A weekend is for cooking and cleaning, the woman states unequivocally. Grab a sponge and a cloth. Next weekend Ill teach you Victors favourite meat pie. Youll lick your fingers clean!
Emily freezes, arms crossed over her chest. Shes not ready to chase after a strangers instructions for a second day in a row.
Margaret, could you maybe write down my number? So you can call before you pop over. I might have plans next weekend.
Call? I cant visit my son now? the lady says, hurt.
Of course you can. He just lives with a woman now. It would be lovely if we all considered each others schedules.
We never had such problems with Ellie, Margaret remarks, frowning.
My exs mum never called me at dawn either, Emily cuts in. She used to bring cherry pies. Very tasty. Want the recipe?
Margarets face tightens, a wrinkle deepening on her brow, a flash of anger in her eyes.
Emily, think carefully. In our family, the night owl doesnt disturb the day.
Margaret leaves, but Emilys mood stays heavy. She doesnt know what to do. Victor seems deaf to her, his mother treats their flat like her own home, and the spectre of Ellie constantly haunts their relationship.
Ellies cabbage rolls were better her mum taught her, Victor mutters over dinner.
Then let her teach you; youll be cooking for me too.
Emily suspects Margaret is trying to shape her son, but she refuses to discuss it. She simply wants to erase the topic from her life.
The next month passes peacefully, no more unannounced visits, until the phone rings again. This time Emily decides firmly not to answer.
Is it rude? Maybe. But is it any better to keep letting someone barge in after a polite warning?
Within five minutes, Victor storms into the hallway, blearyeyed, disgruntled, even angry.
Why arent you opening the door?
I dont want to! And I wont. Guests should announce themselves, and they shouldnt be diving into my cupboards, fridge and wardrobes.
You mean you wont? Shes my mother! Shes come to see me!
Then meet her elsewhere! Not in my house.
Victors outburst echoes through the hallway, probably audible to neighbours. He berates Emily for rejecting his mother, and thus rejecting him. Margaret shouts from the front door, demanding entry, phones the house.
In the end, Emily issues an ultimatum.
Enough! Either you send your mum home right now and explain to her what guest means, or we break up!
Victor chooses the latter.
Emily isnt devastated. They never even got to finish their goodbye. Maybe its for the best. She doesnt want to live with someone whose past relationships and overbearing mother are packaged together.
A few weeks later, Emily learns a surprising piece of news. Victor has a new love interest. Their mutual friend from the same social circle tells her:
We work together. She moved in with him and his mum, but now she wants out. She asked me to introduce you. the friend smiles.
Really? For what reason?
If you believe Victors mum, youre an ideal woman: beautiful, strongwilled, and a good cook.
Are we talking about Victors mum and me?
Well, apparently, anyone whos left Victors house becomes a good person, the friend shrugs.
Since then, Emily listens to outside opinions but keeps her own head on straight. She doesnt swallow every rumor, yet she doesnt ignore them completely.
She also becomes extremely cautious around men who constantly namedrop exes and are painfully attached to their mothers.
A macho who lets his mum dominate will never have a smooth life unless the boundaries are sensible. Do you agree?
Leave a comment with your thoughts and hit the like button.
